Recently I was at a family dinner at my in-laws' house. As we were getting ready to serve the dessert, my mother-in-law got upset about the fact that I had put a "kitchen spatula" on the table as the serving utensil. I didn't chose it for its aesthetic quality, but more for its practical use. I didn't consider any of us visiting to be "company". We were in fact just the immediate family. So why did she look so upset? I suppose I'm very practical and my mother-in-law comes from a time of paper doilies, frilly aprons and chafing dishes lined up like soldiers.

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Have we lost an essential element of "eating in the dining room"? Are we in a society that is knowingly ignoring high manners and etiquette? Or is casual dining more appropriate for today's mindset and lifestyles? I admit to loving a certain downtown restaurant for its impeccable service and attention to details that lack in most other eateries. So if I enjoy and appreciate the crisp napkin placed upon my lap, crumbs discreetly brushed away and my main course kept warm while I excuse myself to powder my nose, then why did I go for the spatula?

I suppose knowledge of etiquette is always in the back of my mind. I am aware of it, but I don't feel the need to exercise it all the time. I love the service at the restaurant because I'm paying for it and it's nice to be pampered once in awhile.

Family dinners should be a relaxed time of togetherness, not necessarily an opportunity for Emily Post type lessons in table manners. So I say etiquette shmetiquette! I don't have any disgusting table habits that I know of, so live and let live. Let's learn to relax and enjoy the food and company. After all, isn't that what it's all about?