Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Recently I was talking to a girlfriend about men. It occurred to me that I should be feeling sorry for today's man. Instead of criticizing them for not being gentlemanly enough, or for not allowing me to be a sexual equal, I should praise them for handling this confusion as well as possible. I think that they are caught in a contradictory state. And I am completely guilty of contributing to this confusion as I wouldn't want to have a chauvinistic spouse, but I still insist on traditional, gentlemanly behaviour.
I think that in times past, the rules of social behaviour were more clear and enforced. A lot of men who were confused or sat on the fence had an easier time of it as they had these guidelines to live by. Of course there have and always will be men who scoff at rules and guidelines and do whatever suits them. I also find that men are shaped by the teachings of their mother. I know that this is a slippery slope as too much "loving" could lead to that dreaded "mamma's boy" syndrome. My husband learned how to treat women from his mother and how to be a charming man from his dad.
In future, I would hate to see a society where it will be difficult to distinguish the sexes by how they look and how they behave. I love the femininity of women. I do believe that we are the more delicate sex. I love the masculinity of men and I hope that they never lose their instincts to be brave and protect us. If I happen to get to a door first, I'll open it for a man or for a woman for that matter.
So here's a note of praise for those men out there feeling very confused about your role in society. If you are respective of women but come to our rescue every now and then, while being able to lose at a game of scrabble and pull out a chair for us at a restaurant, then you're doing just fine!